Meditation – Amidah on Kol Nidre (2022)

This is about approaching the Amidah….which we’re about to do…on Kol Nidre.
I’d like to share 3 points, which are:
a) Stepping backwards, and then stepping forwards (which we always do in the Amidah)
b) Cancelling all vows, part II
c) Minding the boundaries
A
Conventionally, on Kol Nidre…
(see source I: Yom Kippur Prayers | The Jewish Agency – U.S.)
…” ‘Anyone who wants his vows throughout the year not to be binding, should stand … and say, “Any vow that I make in the future shall be invalid””
Conventionally, that’s why Jews come to Kol Nidre.
I had been skeptical that this is REALLY why Jews are motivated to come on time for this day.
I researched, and confirmed:
Source II – The Amidah Project: Kol Nidre | CHICAGO CARLESS
“For Jews who go to synagogue all year and those who come only for the High Holy Days, the literal meaning in the chant is less important than that which it symbolizes–the words and music of ultimate t’shuvah, forgiveness, and ultimately, returned closeness with God.”
B
But, I think we need to look again. After having stepped backwards,…..let’s step forward again.
It dawned on me that…we’ve adopted the legal formulation of Kol Nidre…because our people are very clear thinking, and there is a strong reasonable power in that conventional legal formulation of cancelling all vows:
I read from (Rabbi Mendel of Vitebsk)”
(See source I again)…“Yom Kippur is a day of forgiveness and repentance, when a person must purify oneself from sins … One cannot do this with vows on one’s conscience, or possible vows, so one must first remove any problems that vows might cause – hence the relevance of Kol Nidrei .
As pray-ers…people who pray….we may require a whole lot of space. We may do well to have…as JUST IN CASE….the knowledge that…IF we don’t even fundamentally connect with our prayers, we will have all year to not mess our situation further up.
The concept of making sure we have a lot of space to do our practice, authentically, made me recall the words of another teacher, Suzuki Roshi, and google brought me to his words when I entered…giving a cow a large pasture. Roshi said:
Source III
Quote by Shunryu Suzuki: “Even though you try to put people under control…” (goodreads.com)

“Even though you try to put people under control, it is impossible. You cannot do it. The best way to control people is to encourage them to be mischievous. Then they will be in control in a wider sense. To give your sheep or cow a large spacious meadow is the way to control him. So it is with people: first let them do what they want, and watch them. This is the best policy. To ignore them is not good. That is the worst policy. The second worst is trying to control them. The best one is to watch them, just to watch them, without trying to control them.”
C
So, the last point…is minding the boundaries.
We create a space on these high holidays to attend to these matters of importance. We have developed the pattern of practice of bracketing this time.
Let’s respect that knowledge. Let’s give ourselves fully to our conversation with G-D, as we approach g-d in the Amidah…
(If time….add, and direct)….let’s sit in silence, aware of the present moment briefly, now, as we approach the Amidah)…